Tonight I asked the girls if they wanted to listen to a story while they were going to sleep (I’d already read them one, but I often let them listen to an audiobook, too). My five year old requested Emma, and her ten year old sister agreed. Awwww.
The version we have is the one read by Prunella Scales, and it’s just perfect! I highly recommend it. I suppose I should get Austen’s other book on audio, for the further improvement of little minds. 
Posted in Uncategorized
From the depths of the ‘Bot:
From Tidbit Trinkets
“Last time my husband and I were gridlocked over an issue that was minor but loaded with significance all the same, I happened to sit down to sort through some old papers. My pile held a poem I’d saved that my sweet friend had written me for a bridal shower way back when, complete with goofy rhymes and (mild) potty talk. And a sweet sentiment along the lines of “he’ll do really stupid things sometimes, but remember–he’s crazy about you.” The combination of humor and perspective brought me back to my senses.”
See, our blog brings out the need to share! Thanks for sharing, ‘Bot.
Posted in Uncategorized
This morning Susan Kaye’s son and my son, both age 26, set out to make the seven-hour drive to Idaho to bring her home. Adventure! Loud Music! Road Trip!
All highways were open with no travel advisories. Well, sort of. Traffic was moving, but …
Two hours out, after following a chain of snowplows, they began to realize that conditions were dicey at best. I ought to explain that the western end of the Columbia River Gorge doesn’t get cold enough for truly effective plowing — underneath the snow is usually water, which immediately freezes once the plows pass. After seeing cars spin out, the guys became concerned. Travel had slowed to a crawl, which meant ten or twelve hours instead of five. Ice skating in an SUV — in the dark — was fast losing its appeal.
“This is the best it’s going to get,” Will told my son.
The voice of experience speaks. Will remembers a horrifying family car trip along this same stretch of highway … in white-out conditions. It was then that Susan Kaye uttered a now-classic line: “They make mini-series about things like this.”
So instead of taking Susan Kaye and her mom out for tacos tonight (they’ve been cooped up in the house for almost a week because of snow), our sons will sit around here watching sports. Bummed about the glorious Road Trip that was cut short.
Susan Kaye will continue to telecommute from Coeur d’Alene.
And I’m working on tonight’s installment of THB.
Posted in In Real Life, Uncategorized
“A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.”
Coco Chanel (1883-1971)
“Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do. But beautiful women don’t need to know about men. It’s the men who have to know about beautiful women.”
Katharine Hepburn (1907-2003)
My Dear Vulgarian Miss,
All eyes were on Hollywood recently for the Golden Globe awards. While the movie stars parading the red carpet cannot hope
to enter the realm of the well-born, I give them props for the correct use of the glamour gown.
Evening wear presents a challenge, particularly to the women of your time. How does one manage to appear seductive and yet classy? It’s easy if you know how.
• Here is the basic rule: Feature one seductive element. One.
• If you show more, you advertise yourself as being for hire. (Or for free!)
• Insecure women parade their sexuality. Classy women do not.
• As to sensuality, less is most definitely more.
• Does your skirt have a beguiling slit? Keep the neckline high and the hemline low.
• Are you able to wear a daring bodice? (And not all women can!) Show nothing else.
• Miss Klum’s gown, above, has a plunging back. But that’s it. Perfection!
• Miss Vergara bares her shoulders, but keeps the rest under wraps. Brava!
• Miss Jolie sports the slit, but leaves much to the imagination. Splendid!
• Show restraint with jewelry. Fabulous earrings or a statement necklace. Not both.
• Not that movie stars have estate jewelry to wear. Theirs is usually new. Or borrowed.
• A proper glamour gown is exquisitely fitted as well. Costly, but worth it.
• If you are considering a transparent gown … don’t. Nobody looks that good. Not even you.
In closing, let me add a word about erring on the side of caution. This is a fatal mistake. An evening gown is supposed to be alluring. My daughter, Anne, is an unfortunate illustration. Her gowns are not only poorly constructed and dowdy, but they show nothing at all. Nothing!
No gentleman has that much imagination! Unless, of course, he has been at sea for years and years.
Cordially yours in the upward climb,
Sir Walter Elliot, Bart
“Plain women are always jealous of their husbands.
Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women’s husbands.”
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)
See more photos from the Golden Globes here
Sir Walter Elliot shares advice with Vulgarian readers each Wednesday evening.
Copyright (c) Laura Hile, 2012
Posted in Marrying Well for Fun and Profit
Tagged Advice, Marrying Well, Persuasion, Sir Walter Elliot
Tokidoki Barbie Doll at barbiecollector.com
Check out the pink hair and miniskirt, heart and crossbones (so cute!), patterned leggings, and a dog(?) in a cactus suit.
Major swag!
Hang on, what’s with her shoulder? Is Barbie’s arm broken? Or maimed? Or … (Click image to enlarge.)
Tattoos? Seriously? Barbie has tattoos?
Sigh. I am hopelessly behind the times when it comes to tattoos.
Oh, I have them. But mine, being dots, don’t count. (Cancer souvenirs. Definitely not swag.)
Are tattoos now mainstream? (And doesn’t that defeat the point?) So should McGillvary have Elizabeth Forever emblazoned on his chest?
[Susan Kaye is still in Idaho with her mother, leaving me to look after the blog. Such scintillating intellectual content I provide! Not.]
Posted in Eeewww, Oh my, What the ...?
I came across the publishing announcement for A Jane Austen Devotional last week as I was paging through the new Christian titles for January and February sent out by a book catalog for stores and libraries. Two thoughts occurred simultaneously: “Oh, how interesting!” and “O-o-h, why didn’t I think of that?” Austen’s wonderful novels are nothing if not studies of character. For those with eyes to see, the unspoken standard by which her characters morally stand or fall is that which she imbibed from birth, the beautiful as well as sharply discerning words of Scripture. If you have caught up with Miniature & Morals by Peter Leithart, the wonderful analysis of the depth of Christian influence in Austen’s novels that I mentioned several months ago, a devotional that takes its subjects from Austen sounds like the best of all possible worlds!
The “Look Inside” option takes you inside the Devotional to a small selection that gives the reader a taste of what insight Austen’s characters might give on select principles in the Bible. For instance, Mr Knightly’s caution expressed to Miss Weston on the inappropriateness of Emma’s friendship with Harriet Smith, that it is of benefit to neither woman and, potentially, actively detrimental to them both is paired with the Biblical injunction that “The fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself.” Proverbs 18:2 and “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed” Proverbs 13:20.
If what is wanted is a moment of reflection during the day, this pairing of Austen and Scripture is just the ticket. Jane cannot help but give flesh and bones (and amusing dialogue) that illustrate Biblical principles, for her world lived and breathed them still. My personal feeling is that A Jane Austen Devotional is a respectable start, but that there is so much more richness and depth to be explored that it does not discourage me from hoping, someday, to engage in a pairing of Scripture and Austen myself.
~~Pamela
When the going gets tough, the tough revert to basic tools.
A pen. A composition book. And a timer set to 15 minute intervals.
“Ready, set, write.” No stopping, no judgments. Just put words and ideas onto the page.
This is how I’m spending my morning, fifteen minutes by fifteen minutes. Later I’ll transcribe the gist of my scribbles to the laptop. That’s when the fun begins, because by then the scene will be a living entity. (Or so I tell myself.)
“Beep!” Break’s over! I’ll see you later tonight.
Laura
Posted in The Writing Life
From imgfave.com
She doesn’t refer to my hectic life as a teacher.
She means that I’m sitting on unpublished work.
Work that readers have enjoyed and want to see in a book.
What she means is this: I have a lot to answer for!
See, I’m stalling.
Stalling because I’m afraid.
Afraid of the mistakes that I know are in there.
Afraid of criticism.
Afraid of the time it will take.
Afraid that, at the end of the day, I won’t capture what was in my imagination.
So I … do nothing.
“Mine,” I say, like this cat. “They’re all mine. You can’t make me share!”
But he looks unhappy with his precious kingdom.
Like me.
Because it is more blessed to give than to receive, isn’t it?
Writing isn’t a chore. It’s a gift I get to give. Well, okay. Saturday’s coming.
Posted in The Writing Life
“I don’t want ever to be a man.
I want always to be a little boy and to have fun.”
Peter Pan (J. M, Barrie, 1860-1937)
“The surprising thing about young fools
is how many survive to become old fools.”
Doug Larson (1902-1981)
“He that is good for making excuses
is seldom good for anything else.”
Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790)
My Dear Vulgarian Miss,
This week I am going to discuss that humbug of the marriage mart, the Manolescent. This is a fellow of any age who shirks adult responsibilities. He is not to be confused with a timid Mama’s Boy, though he lives easily enough at Mama’s expense. No, this fellow masquerades as the quintessential fun-loving bachelor. He’s the life of the party and everyone’s pal, until it is time to pick up the check. Then he disappears.
Even a spendthrift gentleman picks up the check! (One must maintain appearances, after all.) Marry a Manolescent to your peril.
• A hallmark of the Manolescent is obvious self-absorption.
• He delights in airing his opinions. He has a braying laugh.
• He is often obsessed with sports and, in your day, the television.
• His favorite beverage is beer. “The more, the better,” he says. *shudder*
• He does not become drunk, he becomes “awesome.”
• His vocabulary is commonplace until he’s offended, and then he curses.
• If he has a job, he does not earn enough to support his habits.
• And yet the Manolescent has a collection of “toys:” a truck, boat, etc.
• He often has a girlfriend in tow, a “Wendy” who hopes to reform him.
• He, on the other hand, is always on the lookout for someone better.
• The Manolescent has the bad taste to boast, in mixed company, of sexual prowess.
• Some care so little about personal hygiene! How are such intimacies tolerable?
• Khaki shorts, a t-shirt with a slogan, and cap worn athwart, are his uniform.
• He will mock events that you enjoy, such as the symphony or New York Fashion Week.
• Which is just as well, for you can’t take him anywhere civilized.
Whether nobly-born or hoi polloi, this shabby excuse for a man will make a miserable husband. And unless you have a pocket deep enough to support him–which you do not, else why would you seek to marry well?–you should avoid him like the plague. Or else prepare to spend the best years of your life working day and night to pay his way…while he amuses himself elsewhere. Guard your precious virtue, my dear, and send the Manolescent on his merry way.
Cordially yours in the upward climb,
Sir Walter Elliot, Bart
Sir Walter Elliot shares advice
with Vulgarian readers each Wednesday.
Click the image (at left) to see a
listing of Sir Walter’s previous articles.
Copyright (c) Laura Hile, 2012
Posted in Marrying Well for Fun and Profit
Tagged Advice, Marrying Well, Persuasion, Sir Walter Elliot
