This is a simplified scanner. The prototype camera costs $17,950 and requires a complicated tripod set-up. Rent it for just $1,950. Cheap!
reports that new infrared-camera technology can identify those among us who are drunk. That’s good news for policemen and people like me who cannot walk straight lines, but bad news for those who give no behavioral clues when they are inebriated. (Years ago, I actually was asked by a policeman if I had been drinking, but that’s another story. Lucy Parker, Karen Cox, and Gayle Mills can attest to my constant sobriety. A virgin daiquiri? Seriously?) The police normally check for certain “tells” in the way a person acts before they give a breathalyzer test. The infrared camera rules out a policeman’s dependence on judging those signs.
Because alcohol causes blood vessels to dilate, a person who has been drinking will have a warmer nose, though his forehead will stay cooler. Those patterns show up vividly when a person’s face is scanned.
The technology could also help those who own bars as well as those who frequent them. A quick, non-intrusive scan would easily show barkeepers who’s had enough; bar-goers would see when it’s time to call that cab.
He’s awake! Take a picture quickly!
Mr. Hurst would never drive his trap again, and White’s would know when to stop serving him. I think this gadget would be an excellent gift for Louisa.
Like this:
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At least Hurst wasn’t trying to drive the carriage while under the influence. I can think of a few celebrities who could benefit from a little objective analysis before they get behind the wheel!
I can think of more than a few, Diana. Some of them need to be scanned before they speak, too. Thanks for the comment!
Your blog title cracks me up, Robin! As did your strawberry virgin daiquiri. Thank goodness for Gayle and Karen, or I would have been drinking the whole bottle of wine. I would like to add that there is no sobriety when Robin is around, even sans libations. Hope there never is a scanner for extreme silliness.
I don’t know. I think I’d like to be found “extremely silly,” though “criminally silly” would be sobering. Sorry. Couldn’t resist. ; )
Lately, between wixing my murds terribly and a balance issue, I’d be in every cop’s sites. Maybe I should carry one of my own.
Maybe so, Susan. I think if I were you, however, I would wait for a cheaper, handheld version to be produced. $18 thou is a little pricey for me.
LOL Lucy. If that was a crime they’d have put me in jail years ago.
Interesting little gadget there, Robin!
But, Monica, if we were all arrested together for silliness, think how much fun we could have in the holding cell!
That would be fun. I don’t drink very much and even the smallest bit of alcohol makes my cheeks turn bright red. I’d probably show up on the monitor looking like a flaming tomato.
So they wouldn’t need a scanner for you, Monica?
I can just see the lawyers rubbing their hands as they think about the money they’ll make defending clients against these charges.
You’d like the way this thing works, Sis. It’s based on two algorithms that I don’t have any concept of. You would probably understand it. It’s written in Geek.
You don’t have to understand algorithms. They work just because they work.
Ah . . . okay. I’ll take your word for it.
*snicker*
Terry, are you laughing at me? Are you laughing at me? ‘Cause it sounds like you are laughing at me! *Can you hear my bad accent?*
No, Robin, not laughing at you, but Ms Smarty Pants Mills is making me chuckle!
In my defense, Wikipedia:
“In mathematics and computer science, an algorithm is a step-by-step procedure for calculations. Algorithms are used for calculation, data processing, and automated reasoning.
“More precisely, an algorithm is an effective method expressed as a finite list[1] of well-defined instructions [2] for calculating a function. [3] Starting from an initial state and initial input (perhaps empty), [4] the instructions describe a computation that, when executed, will proceed through a finite [5] number of well-defined successive states, eventually producing “output” [6] and terminating at a final ending state. The transition from one state to the next is not necessarily deterministic; some algorithms, known as randomized algorithms, incorporate random input.[7]”
In other words, it works because it works. Long division is algorithmic: divide, multiply, subtract, compare, bring down. It just works. Good thing, too. Where would we be without long division? What would fourth graders do for all those hours in math class?
Ugh. Math is yucky. Lol
Are you sure you aren’t one of my Pre-Calculus students in disguise?
I stopped reading after #1. I was getting a headache. If I had wanted to think that much, I would have majored in math, not music. lol
Ah, but music is math. Every single note is a different sound wave and can be graphed with a trigonometric function.
Hey, I just play it. I don’t analyze it. There are no formulae or proofs, and I have no problem with fractions. Music is like another language to me, though I do agree that it is math-related.
My kind of girl. ; )
So, Gayle, an example of an algorithm is how this blog comment thread is spinning and dividing because of random input??
There you go, Lucy. A snark-gorithm. That’s how we work around here!
Thanks for the smiles, girlfriends. First full week back at school is wrenching!
I remember those days, Laura. My daughter is suffering through them now – the first year blues. Her school changed their entire curriculum yesterday – after three weeks of school. To say she was overwhelmed is quite the understatement.
Oh my goodness. It’s contagious, and Terry has it. Back away slowly.
Yes, Lucy, but only if it works. LOL