Michigan-based Deluxe Comfort has introduced the Boyfriend Body Pillow. Deluxe Comfort describes the object as “a soft body pillow that looks like the torso of a man with a comforting arm that cuddles and holds you throughout the night.” The headless half-torso is touted for “people whose partner is away on military leave or work absence.” The pillow is also recommended for “singles, who desire to feel the touch of a man, without actually having to be with one.”
Ack! If my man had a torso like that, I’d buy him a gym membership for Christmas.
A pillow doesn’t hold the remote in a death grip.
A pillow doesn’t fill the DVR with its favorite shows and rush you to watch everything you’ve DVR’d so that it can record more of what it likes.
A pillow doesn’t refuse to buy new clothes every decade or so.
A pillow doesn’t argue.
A pillow weighs about two pounds and costs $34.95. It’s highly portable, and it doesn’t eat anything – ever.
A pillow doesn’t snore or release noxious odors.
A pillow can be thrown away. No divorce is necessary.
A pillow can’t hug you back.
A pillow can’t talk.
A pillow is cold.
A pillow can’t love you.
A pillow can’t give you children.
A pillow doesn’t care if you’re sick.
A pillow can’t go to a movie with you (unless you wish to be the object of ridicule).
A pillow can’t mow the yard, fix the car, or hang pictures.
I think I’ll keep hubby – unless someone invents a Darcy pillow. Ha!