First the Oxford comma and now the apostrophe? Where will the madness end?

National Punctuation DayIn case you missed it, last Tuesday, September 24, was the tenth annual National Punctuation Day. The nerd holiday was founded to draw attention to often misused and frequently overlooked punctuation marks such as semicolons and ellipses. Perhaps we should use this time to reflect on a mark which may soon die out of the language due to texting abuse. Let’s observe a moment of silence for the next symbol expected to begin dying the same slow, agonizing death which still tortures the Oxford comma.

“Trend lines don’t look all that promising for the long-term security of apostrophes as a standard in written English,” wrote Slate’s Matthew Malady. Regardless of what Malady thinks, you may take some comfort from the information that the Apostrophe Protection Society, based in England, is at Defcon 5.

According to the Kill the Apostrophe website, the apostrophe “serves only to annoy those who know how it is supposed to be used and to confuse those who don’t.” Author James Harbeck said last week that the marks don’t add clarity and are usually used incorrectly. While I agree that apostrophes are used improperly much of the time, I think that the writer who uses them correctly definitely improves her ability to convey exactly what she means. An apostrophe is the difference between, “You’re foul,” and, “Your foul.” Need I explain further? apostrophe

For that reason, I will do as I’ve always done and cling to my apostrophes. Even if every brand name on the planet abandons them (Starbucks, Folgers, Penneys, and Sears), and their neglect is the most common grammatical error on Twitter (im, wont, cant, dont, and id), I will never stop using them. Do these people truly not see a difference between “cant” and “can’t”? The words actually mean different things. I cannot live in a world in which “Ill” and “I’ll” are used interchangeably. It makes my brain hurt.

However, there is a ray of hope on that bleak grammatical horizon. The head of U.S. dictionaries at Oxford University Press, Katherine Martin, has observed that today’s autocorrect programs are designed around apostrophe use. She points out that while companies coding spell checkers and speech-to-text apps keep using apostrophes, there will be continuity, and there will be continuation. (Nod to Jane Austen.)

Ms. Martin added, “Language is constantly changing, but predicting what will happen next is notoriously challenging. It is difficult to believe that copy editors are going to stop distinguishing between ‘its’ and ‘it’s’ in the near future.”

I certainly hope not. I still haven’t given up on the Oxford comma – and I NEVER will. For the record, I will also champion another targeted favorite . . . the ellipsis.

So, apostrophe lovers everywhere, rise up! I will say with Dylan Thomas, “Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”

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About Robin Helm

Robin Helm has published all three volumes of The Guardian Trilogy, Guardian, SoulFire, and Legacy. She has also published two books in her new Yours by Design Series - Accidentally Yours and Sincerely Yours. She is presently posted the third book, Forever Yours, on BeyondAusten.com and plans to publish it in late winter or early spring. She and her husband have two adult daughters and two dogs - a Yorkie, Tobey, and a Maltese teacup, Chloe. Ms. Helm graduated with a BA from Piedmont International University. She is a member of the Delta Epsilon Chi honor society, the American Legion Auxiliary, and the scholarship faculty of the United States Achievement Academy.
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10 Responses to First the Oxford comma and now the apostrophe? Where will the madness end?

  1. Susan Kaye says:

    As a habitual abuser of the apostrophe, (though I always correct when I reread), I hope there is success in this campaign. Watching the Twitter/texting/Iming culture over the years, I’m certain we will be down to merely grunts, emoticons, and smilies before too long.

  2. Robin Helm says:

    I <3 you, Susan. ; )

    • Susan Kaye says:

      ;-O

      LOL.

    • Laura Hile says:

      “I <3 you."

      Okay, so I am a failure with reading and using text symbols, as I will now prove.

      I read from left to right…even with symbols and pictures. So the way for me to write a heart on its side–the love heart–would be to put the rounded part first (but we don't have a backwards 3), and then to put the >. That to me would be a heart.

      When I see <3, I see something else. I don't think heart, because it doesn't look like a heart. Nope, I see <3 and think of a butt.

      Which is kind of the opposite meaning…

      And you wonder why I teach teens.

      • Robin Helm says:

        I used to see it that way, too, but I’ve been reading texts, twitter, and instagram too long. The Kool Aid has affected my brain.

  3. Laura Hile says:

    Am I becoming one of those critical old bats? Surely I can’t be the only one to notice the problem with the (govt.-issue) printed metal sign at a local park stating: “Please keep your dog’s on a leash.”

    *eye roll*

    Another time, while stuck in traffic, I called a car dealership on my cell phone. The punctuation on one of their window signs had an obvious mistake. I left a very nice message on the answering machine, ending with a cheery note: “I don’t want people to think, you know, that you’re stupid.”

    Weeks later, the sign was still in the window, unchanged.

    And if my students have their way, that last sentence would be written, .”…that your stupid.”

    Carry on, Robin! I’m raging with you, though on the opposite coast. I fear, however, that we are outnumbered.

  4. Susan Kaye says:

    I don’t want people to think, you know, you’re stupid.”

    My dear friend has had to say this to me a few times when I’ve flown off the handle. These people at the dealership are idiots for not taking her advice.

Why yes, we DO want a piece of your mind. ;-)

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