We are thrilled to welcome Robin Helm and Gayle Mills to our lineup of authors. Tell you what, these girls can write.

It happens that they’re sisters. Does this mean double trouble? We sure hope so. (In fact, I know so. Once they see the profile photo I dug up, I’m toast! Oh yes.)

"Robin" and "Gayle"

Robin, who is equally clever, is also a teacher, a musician, and a published author. I’m currently reading the first in her Guardian Trilogy, and I’m very impressed. Austen’s characters serve as a launching platform for her Christian fantasy romance. Wait until you meet her Xander (Darcy), girls. I won’t give anything away, but wow. Just wow.

Now, those of you who love details have noticed that there are seven, not six, bathing beauties perched on that car. It has to do with principles of composition, but still. A reminder that there’s always room for one more like-minded author here.

The version we have is the one read by Prunella Scales, and it’s just perfect! I highly recommend it. I suppose I should get Austen’s other book on audio, for the further improvement of little minds.

From Tidbit Trinkets

“Last time my husband and I were gridlocked over an issue that was minor but loaded with significance all the same, I happened to sit down to sort through some old papers. My pile held a poem I’d saved that my sweet friend had written me for a bridal shower way back when, complete with goofy rhymes and (mild) potty talk. And a sweet sentiment along the lines of “he’ll do really stupid things sometimes, but remember–he’s crazy about you.” The combination of humor and perspective brought me back to my senses.”

See, our blog brings out the need to share! Thanks for sharing, ‘Bot.

All highways were open with no travel advisories. Well, sort of. Traffic was moving, but …

Two hours out, after following a chain of snowplows, they began to realize that conditions were dicey at best. I ought to explain that the western end of the Columbia River Gorge doesn’t get cold enough for truly effective plowing — underneath the snow is usually water, which immediately freezes once the plows pass. After seeing cars spin out, the guys became concerned. Travel had slowed to a crawl, which meant ten or twelve hours instead of five. Ice skating in an SUV — in the dark — was fast losing its appeal.

“This is the best it’s going to get,” Will told my son.

The voice of experience speaks. Will remembers a horrifying family car trip along this same stretch of highway … in white-out conditions. It was then that Susan Kaye uttered a now-classic line: “They make mini-series about things like this.”

So instead of taking Susan Kaye and her mom out for tacos tonight (they’ve been cooped up in the house for almost a week because of snow), our sons will sit around here watching sports. Bummed about the glorious Road Trip that was cut short.

Susan Kaye will continue to telecommute from Coeur d’Alene.

And I’m working on tonight’s installment of THB.

At Pinterest

“A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.”
Coco Chanel (1883-1971)

My Dear Vulgarian Miss,

All eyes were on Hollywood recently for the Golden Globe awards. While the movie stars parading the red carpet cannot hope to enter the realm of the well-born, I give them props for the correct use of the glamour gown.

Evening wear presents a challenge, particularly to the women of your time. How does one manage to appear seductive and yet classy? It’s easy if you know how.

• Here is the basic rule: Feature one seductive element. One.
• If you show more, you advertise yourself as being for hire. (Or for free!)
• Insecure women parade their sexuality. Classy women do not.
• As to sensuality, less is most definitely more.
• Does your skirt have a slit? Keep the neckline high and the hemline low.
• Are you able to wear a daring bodice? (Not all women can!) Show nothing else.
• Miss Klum’s gown, above, has a plunging back. But that’s it. Perfection!
• Miss Vergara bares her shoulders, but keeps the rest under wraps. Brava!
• Miss Jolie sports the slit, but leaves much to the imagination. Splendid!
• Use restraint with jewelry. Fabulous earrings or statement necklace. Not both.
• Not that movie stars have estate jewelry. Theirs is usually new. Or borrowed.
• A proper glamour gown is exquisitely fitted. Costly, but worth it.
• If you are considering a transparent gown … don’t. Nobody looks that good. Not even you.

In closing, let me add a word about erring on the side of caution. This is a fatal mistake. An evening gown is supposed to be alluring. My daughter, Anne, is an unfortunate illustration. Her gowns are not only poorly constructed and dowdy, but they show nothing at all. Nothing!

No gentleman has that much imagination! Unless, of course, he has been at sea for years and years.

Cordially yours in the upward climb,

Sir Walter Elliot, Bart

“Plain women are always jealous of their husbands.
Beautiful women never are. They are always so occupied with being jealous of other women’s husbands.”
Oscar Wilde (1854-1900)

See more photos from the Golden Globes here

Sir Walter Elliot shares advice with Vulgarian readers each Wednesday evening.

Copyright (c) Laura Hile, 2012

Tokidoki Barbie Doll at barbiecollector.com

Check out the pink hair and miniskirt, heart and crossbones (so cute!), patterned leggings, and a dog(?) in a cactus suit.

Major swag!

Hang on, what’s with her shoulder? Is Barbie’s arm broken? Or maimed? Or … (Click image to enlarge.)

Tattoos? Seriously? Barbie has tattoos?

Sigh. I am hopelessly behind the times when it comes to tattoos.

Oh, I have them. But mine, being dots, don’t count. (Cancer souvenirs. Definitely not swag.)

Are tattoos now mainstream? (And doesn’t that defeat the point?) So should McGillvary have Elizabeth Forever emblazoned on his chest?

[Susan Kaye is still in Idaho with her mother, leaving me to look after the blog. Such scintillating intellectual content I provide! Not.]

I came across the publishing announcement for A Jane Austen Devotional last week as I was paging through the new Christian titles for January and February sent out by a book catalog for stores and libraries. Two thoughts occurred simultaneously: “Oh, how interesting!” and “O-o-h, why didn’t I think of that?” Austen’s wonderful novels are nothing if not studies of character. For those with eyes to see, the unspoken standard by which her characters morally stand or fall is that which she imbibed from birth, the beautiful as well as sharply discerning words of Scripture. If you have caught up with Miniature & Morals by Peter Leithart, the wonderful analysis of the depth of Christian influence in Austen’s novels that I mentioned several months ago, a devotional that takes its subjects from Austen sounds like the best of all possible worlds!

The “Look Inside” option takes you inside the Devotional to a small selection that gives the reader a taste of what insight Austen’s characters might give on select principles  in the Bible. For instance, Mr Knightly’s caution expressed to Miss Weston on the inappropriateness of Emma’s friendship with Harriet Smith, that it is of benefit to neither woman and, potentially, actively detrimental to them both is paired with the Biblical injunction that “The fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself.” Proverbs 18:2  and “He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed” Proverbs 13:20.

If what is wanted is a moment of reflection during the day, this pairing of Austen and Scripture is just the ticket. Jane cannot help but give flesh and bones (and amusing dialogue) that illustrate Biblical principles, for her world lived and breathed them still. My personal feeling is that A Jane Austen Devotional is a respectable start, but that there is so much more richness and depth to be explored that it does not discourage me from hoping, someday, to engage  in a pairing of Scripture and Austen myself.

~~Pamela

A pen. A composition book. And a timer set to 15 minute intervals.

“Ready, set, write.” No stopping, no judgments. Just put words and ideas onto the page.

This is how I’m spending my morning, fifteen minutes by fifteen minutes. Later I’ll transcribe the gist of my scribbles to the laptop. That’s when the fun begins, because by then the scene will be a living entity. (Or so I tell myself.)

“Beep!” Break’s over! I’ll see you later tonight.

Laura

From imgfave.com

She doesn’t refer to my hectic life as a teacher.
She means that I’m sitting on unpublished work.
Work that readers have enjoyed and want to see in a book.
What she means is this: I have a lot to answer for!

See, I’m stalling.
Stalling because I’m afraid.

Afraid of the mistakes that I know are in there.
Afraid of criticism.
Afraid of the time it will take.
Afraid that, at the end of the day, I won’t capture what was in my imagination.
So I … do nothing.

“Mine,” I say, like this cat. “They’re all mine. You can’t make me share!”

But he looks unhappy with his precious kingdom.

Like me.

Because it is more blessed to give than to receive, isn’t it?
Writing isn’t a chore. It’s a gift I get to give. Well, okay. Saturday’s coming.