Sir Walter, NaNoWriMo Plot Doctor

My Dear Vulgarian Readers,

My adopted authoress is slogging through the agonies of both Parent-Teacher Conference Week and NaNoWriMo.

The poor girl is flat out of ideas and is, in my humble opinion, doomed to fail. But has she taken any of the advice I have so kindly offered? Indeed she has not!

As a fictional character with years of experience, I style myself as qualified to fix any flagging plot. Ms Hile has the wrong hero.

Wouldn’t you rather read a Regency novel with this protagonist?

• He is lithe, handsome and lean-waisted, with a full head of hair.
• Though past the age of foolishness, he is nonetheless seductive.
• He dresses flawlessly (down to the shoes) and has marvelous manners.
• Clever sallies issue from his shapely lips, evidence of a keen intellect.
• And yet his suave, fashionable person conceals a passionate heart.
• At times his fetching chin quivers with the pain of private loneliness.
• If only he could find a lovely, wealthy noblewoman to be his wife!
• Ever the kindhearted guest, he will dance with even the homeliest ladies.
• And yet he is no fool. He remains impervious to their too-obvious lures.
• One day, quite suddenly, he learns of a genealogical mistake. Huzzah!
• Instead of being a modest baronet, he is a Cavendish!
• In fact, he is Lord Cavendish, the rightful 6th Duke of Devonshire!
• Snatched at birth by a rival uncle, he was raised by wolves and servants.
• His family seats are Chatsworth House, Bolton Abbey, and Lismore Castle.
• The income from said estates is a tidy fortune. He is set for life!
• He is now free to follow his heart. And redecorate to his heart’s content.

I ask you, could there be a happier ending for an attractive hero?

Cordially yours in the upward climb,

Sir Walter Elliot, Bart

“Women want certain things in marriage–the right to a title and a front seat in the lap of luxury.”
Mae West (1892-1980)

Sir Walter Elliot shares advice with Vulgarian readers each Wednesday.

Copyright (c) Laura Hile, 2011

5 thoughts on “Sir Walter, NaNoWriMo Plot Doctor

  1. Susan Kaye

    This is the problem with romance novels, this protagonist would crush all other men in the eyes of every woman. The dissatisfaction with the husbands, boyfriends, friends-with-benefits, and men in general would leave all of us little more than weeping husks unable to ever settle.

    Ah, the power of fiction.


  2. Jennifer G.

    Of course, we all make ourselves out to be better than we really are…. wasn’t he “plugging’ himself, trying to win approval? I would be looking for flaws. Beware, Sir Walter!


  3. Laura Hile Post author

    Alas, Sir Walter, we have found you out! Your most wonderful Regency protagonist is rather too good to be true!


    Mary Sue:

    A Mary Sue or Gary Stu (male form) is often either a perfect or almost perfect character. They often appear in fan fictions and are sometimes based on the author themselves.

    The most common type of Mary Sue is a character based on the author’s idealization of himself/herself. Furthermore, because the author is imagining a preferred version of herself, and because faults are overlooked in favor of optimization, a Mary Sue tends to have only superficial resemblance to the author, sharing similar likes/dislikes and a similar spirituality (when applicable), but objectifying things such as worldview and relationships. This type of Mary Sue is more common simply because it’s easier to write and is more appealing to the author. This Mary Sue is found in fanfics and original fiction alike. Yes, Mary Sues abound even in professional writing.

    When a Mary Sue or Gary Stu is written into a fan fiction, it will often cause canon (original) characters to become OOC (out of character). They often have terrible, grief-filled pasts and ‘need’ a certain canon character to understand them or they have a past that is the exact same or very similar to a canon character’s.



Why yes, we DO want a piece of your mind. ;-)

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