My adopted authoress is slogging through the agonies of both Parent-Teacher Conference Week and NaNoWriMo.
The poor girl is flat out of ideas and is, in my humble opinion, doomed to fail. But has she taken any of the advice I have so kindly offered? Indeed she has not!
As a fictional character with years of experience, I style myself as qualified to fix any flagging plot. Ms Hile has the wrong hero.
Wouldn’t you rather read a Regency novel with this protagonist?
• He is lithe, handsome and lean-waisted, with a full head of hair.
• Though past the age of foolishness, he is nonetheless seductive.
• He dresses flawlessly (down to the shoes) and has marvelous manners.
• Clever sallies issue from his shapely lips, evidence of a keen intellect.
• And yet his suave, fashionable person conceals a passionate heart.
• At times his fetching chin quivers with the pain of private loneliness.
• If only he could find a lovely, wealthy noblewoman to be his wife!
• Ever the kindhearted guest, he will dance with even the homeliest ladies.
• And yet he is no fool. He remains impervious to their too-obvious lures.
• One day, quite suddenly, he learns of a genealogical mistake. Huzzah!
• Instead of being a modest baronet, he is a Cavendish!
• In fact, he is Lord Cavendish, the rightful 6th Duke of Devonshire!
• Snatched at birth by a rival uncle, he was raised by wolves and servants.
• His family seats are Chatsworth House, Bolton Abbey, and Lismore Castle.
• The income from said estates is a tidy fortune. He is set for life!
• He is now free to follow his heart. And redecorate to his heart’s content.
I ask you, could there be a happier ending for an attractive hero?
Cordially yours in the upward climb,
Sir Walter Elliot, Bart
Sir Walter Elliot shares advice with Vulgarian readers each Wednesday.
Copyright (c) Laura Hile, 2011