More Trouble for Our Austen Men?

So dashing in his regimentals!

I am dedicating this post to our favorite Austen military men. Let’s hope they haven’t followed the military tradition that my daughter has.

I had the impression from watching television police shows that cameras everywhere capture faces which can be fed through facial recognition software. Actually, according to Terrance Boult, those images are so fuzzy that the software rarely finds a match in a photo database.

I love a red coat!

Boult is a computer science professor at the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs, and the co-founder of the security startup Securics Inc. His team of researchers is developing a computer program that instead identifies suspects by – watch out! – their tattoos. The captain, the colonels, and my daughter are all at risk, and they had better behave. On the other hand, this could be a great way to track Wickham!

Let him be your man. He’ll jilt you creditably.

The program hasn’t yet been able to identify a specific person solely by their tattoos, but it can use the image to find matches to similar tattoos on databases or on social media sites. If the criminal is stupid enough to put a pic of his tattoo on Facebook, and most of them are, and if he is in a gang, the tattoo could potentially trace this lead to gang members who might know the suspect’s identity and whereabouts.

I must away.

The program has also been designed to match tattoos with descriptions from eyewitnesses with those in a database. Fortunately, my daughter’s tattoo of Hawaii on her foot looks like she spilled blue Kool Aid and forgot to wash it off. If she holds up a 7-Eleven barefooted, the eyewitness will never remember the blobs as our fiftieth state.

I have rarely seen such air in Bath.

Recognition based on skin markings is not a new concept, but Boult’s team has designed a program that can be used with lower-quality photographs or even images captured while the subject is in motion, as he should be if he has half a brain.

There is nothing worth my staying for.

In other “tattoo” news, Nokia has devised a way to use magnetic vibrating tattoos to send cell phone alerts directly to a person’s skin. Can’t wait for that one. Now, church services, funerals, weddings, classrooms, and boardrooms can be disturbed by people vibrating rather than just the annoying buzz of a cell phone. The patent application says that the app would fit on your arm, abdomen, or fingernail. Where do you want to vibrate, people? I wish I hadn’t asked that, and I certainly will not posit that query to our Austen men.

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18 thoughts on “More Trouble for Our Austen Men?

  1. Laura Hile

    I am still stuck on the “foreverness” of a tattoo. I never considered it as being a passport to prison! Wow.

    My other reason for not getting a tattoo (besides prison and getting tired of the picture) has to do with my cheapness. Ouch! With tatts, you definitely get what you pay for!

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    1. Robin Helm

      I don’t like them either, Laura. Mandy has four and Mel has two. All five girls who went to Hawaii together had the islands tattooed on the sides of their feet. Those are fairly small and not too bad. They should fade away in about ten years. Mel’s other one celebrates our Irish heritage and is visible only when she wears a swimsuit. Mandy is another story. She has an angel on the inside of her arm, “Hold fast” (both for her faith and for the Navy) on her wrist, and an eagle on her hip. Most of time, hers don’t show either. She says she’s finished now. I hope so.

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      1. Laura Hile

        You know, I can understand your girls’ reasoning for their Hawaii tattoos … a shared experience, a memory, a souvenir to smile over.

        That’s kind of like the idea behind my charm bracelet. Something small to commemorate a lovely trip or experience.

        I wouldn’t mind a tattoo except I grow tired of the same old thing. And what to choose? Mercy’s Embrace on the inside of my arm? Only if I win the Pulitzer! Or sell a million copies. 🙂

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        1. Robin Helm

          I could understand it, too, if tattoos weren’t permanent (unless you use laser surgery). I think they will both regret it later. In fact, Mel already has regretted having hers. She’s at a different place in her life now, and she doesn’t like the memories associated with the first tattoo. If Mandy ever regrets anything, she will never say it. Ha!

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  2. Susan Kaye

    Several years ago I read a book, and now have seen crime shows in which the tat from a body is the only clue about identity. It stands to reason it would be used to identify the culprit.

    It’s only fair that body modification, which many latched onto so they might shock the bourgeois and show their rebel creds, is now being used by the bourgeois to catch rebels that misbehave.

    LOL.

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  3. Monica

    Lol about the vibrating tattoo thingys. That is just WIERD!

    Tattoos don’t really bother me. I’ve kind of always wanted one but have no idea what I’d choose to stamp on me forever. Maybe a very small I (heart) Mr Darcy. 😉 That would ramp up my street cred for sure.

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    1. Robin Helm

      The problem with “very small” is that the tattoo might not be clear enough to tell what it is. According to both my daughters, getting a tattoo is very painful. This from two girls who are afraid of childbirth . . .

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      1. Laura Hile

        I’ve seen women with little stars, sprinkled across the back of the neck for instance, that are attractive. That street cred thing, “I’m cool.”

        But as Susan says, why have a tattoo that I cannot see?

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    2. Susan Kaye

      I can’t figure out any images worth having ink driven into the pores of my body with needles. I once saw a pic of a woman with a Chinese-esque cascade of chrysanthemums down her shoulder. It was beautiful. But.

      All that pain for something you’d have to see only by genuflecting before a mirror is out. And there is no way it would hold up over the years. When that woman is older it will look like a bunch of colorful goo sliding down her back.

      Can’t see wasting the time, money or pain.

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  4. Chelsea K.

    This was really interesting. I never plan on getting a tattoo, I have a low pain tolerance & they usually don’t look good after you age.

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    1. Robin Helm Post author

      You exhibit remarkable good sense. I tried to tell my daughters what a pregnancy could do to the tats, but they didn’t listen. : )

      C’est la vie!

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Why yes, we DO want a piece of your mind. ;-)

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