Watch that hand, buddy!
Michigan-based Deluxe Comfort has introduced the Boyfriend Body Pillow. Deluxe Comfort describes the object as “a soft body pillow that looks like the torso of a man with a comforting arm that cuddles and holds you throughout the night.” The headless half-torso is touted for “people whose partner is away on military leave or work absence.” The pillow is also recommended for “singles, who desire to feel the touch of a man, without actually having to be with one.”
Ack! If my man had a torso like that, I’d buy him a gym membership for Christmas.
Pros:
A pillow doesn’t hold the remote in a death grip.
A pillow doesn’t fill the DVR with its favorite shows and rush you to watch everything you’ve DVR’d so that it can record more of what it likes.
A pillow doesn’t refuse to buy new clothes every decade or so.
A pillow doesn’t argue.
A pillow weighs about two pounds and costs $34.95. It’s highly portable, and it doesn’t eat anything – ever.
A pillow doesn’t snore or release noxious odors.
A pillow can be thrown away. No divorce is necessary.
This is a “sculpted torso”?
Cons:
A pillow can’t hug you back.
A pillow can’t talk.
A pillow is cold.
A pillow can’t love you.
A pillow can’t give you children.
A pillow doesn’t care if you’re sick.
A pillow can’t go to a movie with you (unless you wish to be the object of ridicule).
A pillow can’t mow the yard, fix the car, or hang pictures.
I think I’ll keep hubby – unless someone invents a Darcy pillow. Ha!
Oh, Robin. The things you find to talk about. Thanks for the smiles.
I know I’m Random Robin, but I just can’t help it. ; ) I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!
I think you “Cons” list is actually the “Pros” list for a lot of women who don’t really want a boyfriend/husband, they just want a semblance of one. “I want what i want when I want it.” That’s the American motto these days.
I actually thought of that when I was writing it. Both lists would be switched by some women. For instance, “The pillow can’t talk,” could be considered a “pro” by some women but a “con” by others. Maybe their husbands or boyfriends won’t shut up. Does it frighten you that we think alike?
Nah, I’m pretty afraid of what goes on in my head on a daily basis. Just knowing there are others of my kind is a comfort. Like finding out I’m not the last polar bear on the ice floe.
I think God puts like types together to minimize the damage.
Have a good weekend, Robin.
You, too, Susan. I started reading your book again yesterday. I haven’t had time to read lately, but in my post dinner stupor, I just flopped on the couch with my kindle. It’s wonderful! I love your intelligent, playful Anne.
Sorry to admit that I’ve drunk the football Kool-Aid. Tonight, I will be riveted to the small screen, trying to contain myself to avoid dirty looks from my hubs and daughter.
I grew up with a football addicted father so I took the sure early in life. Fortunately, Bill is not a sports fan. Very fortunately.
That pillow’s not even half the man he used to be.
He’s merely a poor substitute for a king-sized pillow. I could make a joke here, but it would be in poor taste. ; )