I’ll get my boyfriend pillow, and you can put on your girlfriend coat.

This is a "sculpted torso"?

This is a “sculpted torso”?

Not long ago, I blogged about the “boyfriend pillow,” so you can imagine how interested and intrigued I was by the “girlfriend coat.” Yes, lonely guys, it’s finally here – an electronic device which can hug you from behind and whisper in your ear (in Japanese only for now). Nobody ever has to be lonely again. We have substitutes which won’t spend our money, demand our time, or leave us for another. They also won’t be warm, move beyond their prescribed limits, say anything original, or love you. Seems a little hollow to me.

hugging-girlfriend-coat
A team of students at Tsukuba University developed The “Riaju Coat” (Fulfillment Coat) so that girlfriendless young men everywhere could experience that warm, fuzzy feeling of his girlfriend hugging him around the waist from behind – using two robotic pincers.

Add some headphones, and the dateless guy hears footsteps running up from behind him. A female voice then says one of the following lines: “I’m sorry. Were you waiting?”; “Watch your back!”; “Guess who?”; or “Blind side!” The synthetic hug follows immediately.

Perhaps the young men would not need to invent a girlfriend if they left the lab occasionally and applied as much energy and ingenuity to meeting a young lady as they did to inventing a fake one.

Isn’t there some way we can introduce the “boyfriend pillow” girls to the “girlfriend coat” guys?

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15 thoughts on “I’ll get my boyfriend pillow, and you can put on your girlfriend coat.

  1. Susan Kaye

    But the reverse of these items is that when you want them to leave you alone, THEY DO! Ha! Toss the pillow in a closet and hang the coat on a hook in the hall and you have your life back! These things are just like pets, they don’t demand any personal growth or sacrifice and you can ignore them at will.

    Yes, I know pets are wonderful et al, but they don’t demand you put aside your droning on about the boss to listen to their latest irritation about work. AND they don’t care if you wrack up big debt, gossip like a fish monger, or that you are carrying on inappropriately with someone online. Feed them and treat them with a modicum of kindness during a few of the hours they are awake and they are good to go. Human beings, not so much.

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    1. Robin Helm Post author

      I KNEW you would think that way, and I admit, it occurred to me, too. You don’t have to cook for the pillow or clean up after it. However, to me, pets are more trouble than people are.

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      1. Susan Kaye

        I just think that we are moving to an age in which our depth of commitment, whether to people, pets, or fabric contrivances, is predicated on how much personal effort required. If that’s the standard, we’re sunk.

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          1. Susan Kaye

            Years ago I read The Crystal Singer by Anne McCaffrey. In it the main character is walking through a space station and is flirted with by a man. She is able to have him detained by the police for breaking some sort of privacy laws in place in her world. I’ve always figured we’re coming to that sooner than later.

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    1. Robin Helm Post author

      Either she’s really heavy or you need to hit the weight room? (That’s a joke, though it’s sort of lame.) Thanks!

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    1. Robin Helm Post author

      And he’ll dress like you want him to dress. He’ll never have bad breath or make unsuitable noises. But, he’ll never do a favor just for you, either. He’ll never cook for you when you’re sick or empty the dishwasher while you watch TV.

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      1. Gayle Mills

        True. But you won’t spend hours trying to find cards that you can give him with a clear conscience knowing that you’re not lying your head off. You will know where he is at night. And you can control the remote.

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        1. Robin Helm Post author

          At least you know where his wedding ring is now. Since Larry lost the one I gave him and the one of Daddy’s which mother gave him, he’s held on to the one you handed down to him.

          I usually still control the remote. lol

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Why yes, we DO want a piece of your mind. ;-)

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