Why Colin Firth, Matthew MacFadyen, Rupert Penry-Jones, and Henry Cavill could never visit Saudi Arabia

Colin Firth

Colin Firth

I hope these men are happy living in their home country, because they can never move to Saudi Arabia. They should not even visit there.
Henry Cavill

Henry Cavill

Several men from the United Arab Emirates were recently forcibly removed from the Jenadrivah Heritage & Cultural Festival in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, for being too handsome. I never knew that a man could be “too handsome.” I thought that was one of those things that was impossible.
Rupert Penry-Jones

Rupert Penry-Jones

However, Saudi Arabia’s Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vices spotted them and decided that they must go for fear that the Saudi women would find them irresistible, according to Elaph, an Arabic-language newspaper.
Matthew MacFadyen

Matthew MacFadyen

They were deported to Abu Dhabi. (Note to self: vacation in Abu Dhabi, not Saudi Arabia.) Richard Armitage and Dan Stevens also make the cut of “British men who should avoid Saudi Arabia.”

A few Americans should stay home, too. Tatum Channing and Tom Brady make my list. There are many, many handsome American men, but their attractiveness to me is substantially diminished whenever I learn too much about their lifestyles. Either I don’t know these particular celebrities’ reputations too well, or they are good at flying under the radar. If you know really bad things about them, please leave me in my state of blissful ignorance. Yes, I know Channing Tatum used to be an exotic dancer, but he’s now a family man who loves his wife. He gets points for that in my book.

Suggestions, readers? Who makes your list of men who should avoid Saudi Arabia? Which famous men could safely visit that country?

Tom Brady

Tom Brady

Channing Tatum

Channing Tatum

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24 thoughts on “Why Colin Firth, Matthew MacFadyen, Rupert Penry-Jones, and Henry Cavill could never visit Saudi Arabia

  1. cassandragrafton

    With Richard, Colin, Matthew and Rupert you’ve already got most of my favourites safe! (oh okay, and Dan as well!) I suspect there will be a few shout outs for Gerard Butler though, and possibly Clive Owen.

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    1. Robin Helm Post author

      Yes, Gerard Butler is quite handsome, and he has that whole Irish thing going on. I think the only film I’ve seen Clive Owen in was The Bourne Identity. I know he’s been in many movies, but I don’t go see R rated films anymore. They’re getting worse and worse with the nudity and language. However, Mr. Owen is much more than presentable, and he will likely make the list.

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      1. Susan Kaye

        I think one of his best roles was in Gosford Park. He played the most elegant looking valet in the world. He delivered one of the sexiest kisses in movie history as far as I’m concerned.

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          1. Susan Kaye

            I’ll risk giving away the movie, Clive was a very, very bad boy. But also very chivalrous. A two-fer in my book.

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    1. Robin Helm Post author

      Hugh Jackman should definitely be on the list. I’ve loved him since “Kate and Leopold.” He is so much more than Wolverine, though I like that series.

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  2. Pingback: Men Deemed ‘Too Handsome’ and ‘Irresistible to Women’ Deported from Saudi Arabia | Impressions

  3. Gayle Mills

    Chris Pine (Captain Kirk) definitely needs to stay home. I’m sure LucyParker would like to keep Nacho Figueras safe. Ian Somerhalder, Ryan Gosling, Stephen Amell, and Matt Bomer need other travel plans as well.

    But realistically, if these guys ever get a look at Henry Cavill, they’ll probably hunt him down. Women of all ages find him beautiful. We’re…. hmm… they’re counting down the days until the release of Superman, Man of Steel.

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    1. Robin Helm Post author

      I thought about Lucy’s “Nacho,” but I couldn’t remember his last name. Don’t tell on me.

      That’s one great list. You guys can post pics if you wish. I avoided showing the more, ummm, physical attributes of the guys.

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  4. C Allyn Pierson

    Excellent list, Robin! Part of the reason that there are so many British actors who continue to stimulate our…ahem…interest is that they tend to keep their private lives private instead of flaunting every peccadillo in the face of their fans. Of course, the lovely accent doesn’t hurt! (why hasn’t anyone come up with an emoticon that demonstrates licking lips!)

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    1. Robin Helm Post author

      I think you’re right. I really don’t want to know about an actor’s private life very much, and I certainly don’t want his political opinions. The British accent is a definite plus for them.

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  5. Gayle Mills

    A new emoticon … wonder if Steph could do that? The thing that interested me in this was how much my list has changed over the years. Some men that I once considered quite handsome no longer appeal to me after I’ve watched their lives play out publicly.

    Of course, all of this is an intellectual exercise — you know, for character research and such.

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  6. Susan Kaye

    I like looking at attractive men but the ones who get under my skin tend to be sidekicks rather than the heroes. I cared more about Spock than Kirk, Tonto was always more interesting than the Lone Ranger, and I resented the fact that Atremis Gordon (The Wild, Wild West) never had as much screen time as James West.

    And I’d still rather spend the evening with Ciaran Hinds than Colin Firth.

    Oh! and I think that Bruce Willis is far more attractive with a few laugh lines and no hair than he ever was when chasing Cybil Shepherd around on Moonlighting.

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    1. Robin Helm Post author

      Spock was very interesting, and I never liked Kirk. My favorite Star Trek captain was Patrick Stewart – Jean Luc Picard. He isn’t classically handsome either.

      The new Tonto will be handsome. It’s Johnny Depp.

      I don’t think Hinds has aged as well as Firth, but he seems to be a person I would enjoy talking to.

      I totally agree about Bruce Willis. The man is handsome at every age, and he seems to get more manly as he goes.

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  7. Susan Kaye

    The problem is that even men are starting to succumb to the pressure of our Western beauty culture. There’s no knowing who “is” and who “isn’t.” I saw Judy Dench on the Charlie Rose show. She looked her age but well-rested. She’s had work done but it was done well and in keeping with her age. Unfortunately some men are going the route of trying to stay young forever.

    I don’t pay enough attention to know what Firth looks like sans make-up these days. Or Hinds for that matter. The last movie I saw him in was The Eclipse and that’s a few years old now. I figure maybe he leads a hard life off camera. Part of it is his weight. He’s gained and lost a few times which does no favors to your face.

    I fear it won’t be long before we start seeing men starting to look alike in the same way we see “Housewives.” They all go for eye jobs, cheek implants, lip puffing, and chin redoes. We have a “medical spa” commercial airing in our area and the women all resemble one another.

    I despair when I look in the mirror, but as long as God keeps me barely shambling along money wise, I’ll never have to resist the temptation of having “work” done.

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    1. Robin Helm Post author

      I think some men are already having quite a bit of work done. Firth doesn’t show signs of cosmetic surgery, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t had it. I think Hinds has a long face, and his type doesn’t age well. You’re probably right about the hard life, too.

      I hate the “duck lips” actresses are getting. Meg Ryan has ruined her looks.

      I avoid mirrors whenever possible.

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      1. Susan Kaye

        I don’t need a mirror. My mother gave me a computer with a lovely, shiny monitor and I can see myself in that. As I grind on my writing. Or anything else that seems to be overtaking the world at the moment.

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