I Had to Laugh … Missing, 1 Bra

Random pic of Penelope Keith. Great actress

Random pic of Penelope Keith. A great actress.

Have you ever lost something? I don’t mean the sort of thing that you could set down on a counter and walk away from. I mean something close and personal, like underwear? Socks don’t count because we all know they go missing in the washer and that’s out of our control. My problem is that somewhere along the line, I’ve lost a brassiere.

For some women losing one of those wouldn’t be a mystery. Some women these days take their underwear off in places other than their homes. The locker room of a gym for instance. Or the home of a “friend.” Not so me. I don’t go to gyms and I keep my clothes on when visiting my friends.

The reason this is a big deal is I’m a beefy gal (This is a description used by Sheldon Cooper when talking about Amazonians.) and my bras are not little bits of lace with ribbony straps and a couple of hooks. I finally bought a few new ones and at a glance they look like bulletproof vests with cups. I have to have gear with some serious structural engineering. They take up lots of space so they don’t just “get lost.”

My husband and I went out of town for a few days and I thought maybe I had left it at the motel. Gad, what mortification! I am thankful I could use e-mail to contact the owners and ask if they had found it. (No, sorry.) If this were years ago, I wouldn’t have bothered asking at all.

So, it’s been about six months now and I still wonder where that thing went. I hope I find it soon. You never know, I might lose all that weight I’ve been planning for years to get rid of. I’d hate to get it back in time for it not to fit.

Have you lose anything embarrassing? Keep it clean. Or if you can’t, at least use your imagination when describing the item.

 

 

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11 thoughts on “I Had to Laugh … Missing, 1 Bra

  1. Robin Helm

    That is quite the mystery, Susan. Could visiting family have mixed it in with their clothing by mistake?

    Mother had one of my baby booties bronzed. She gave it to me, and I can’t remember where I put it. I’d love to find it in time to take it to my new grandchild when I go to Japan.

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    1. Laura Hile

      If you receive a bronzed brassiere for Mother’s Day, SK, you’ll know. Somehow I can’t see that adorning the coffee table. I know your family excels at snark and shares a twisted sense of humor, but…no.

      I’m thinking the culprit might be the doggie, who dragged it somewhere to gnaw? (Drat, good underwear is expensive!)

      Or else it fell behind the dryer and is now collecting grime. Our washer and dryer are in the garage, and when family members do not take their clothes out of the dryer—or do laundry in the middle of the night (uncivilized barbarians!)—the clean, dry clothes get piled on top. And fall over.

      The worst thing I’ve ever lost was a flash drive—on a long lanyard—which contained 40 pages of edits for the third Mercy’s book. I think it fell out of my purse in a parking lot; I had driven a carload of high school boys to a summer basketball game, and I remember my purse falling out when I opened my door. When the loss was discovered, it felt like those were the most brilliant edits EVER.

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      1. Susan Kaye Post author

        If I received a bronzed brassiere, I’d place it somewhere discrete and tell people it’s prototype of a new anti-tank weapon going into production soon. Who would question that?

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    2. Susan Kaye Post author

      We haven’t had anyone outside the family to the house for quite some time so that’s out.

      I hope you find your booty soon. (Wow, that just sounds so wrong!) Were I to bronze my undergarments, I wouldn’t be able to lift them. That would keep them in one place for sure.

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  2. Laura Hile

    What else have I lost? A set of eight bone china coffee cups and saucers from my mother’s china set. I’ve been through every box in the garage—and I swear they’ve got to be out there. Along with the photo album from my mother’s wedding. *whimper*

    Fortunately, I do have a second set those photos that belonged to my grandmother, but still. If Mom ever finds out, I will be extremely embarrassed.

    But those cups are in the garage, I just know it.

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  3. C. Allyn Pierson

    Someone actually did a study on disappearing socks (your tax dollars at work!). Apparently they travel up over the tub of the washing machine and then are macerated down to nothing by the movement of the tub relative to the hull of the machine…so now you know.

    My family moved around a lot when I was young and during one move all of my mom’s clock keys were lost. For those of you who only have quartz clocks, those are the little things that wind old fashioned clocks that have a pendulum. These were all antique clocks and had keys of different sizes and she spent months looking through antique stores for ones that would fit. After about 30 years she found them in the back of a drawer in her hutch where the movers had put them all together in a box. Now, this hutch had been in use constantly during that 30 years, but, obviously, the drawer had never been completely emptied either when searching for the keys or at a later time when pulling out placemats or table clothes. ::shakes head in amazement::

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Why yes, we DO want a piece of your mind. ;-)

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