If Jane were twenty-something…

happy_birthdayIt is with empathy that I wish Jane Austen a happy 239th birthday. After all, it’s not easy to grow older. I was younger than Elizabeth Bennet when I discovered Jane’s novels. But these days I sometimes resemble Mrs Bennet, Elizabeth’s fretful, flighty mother. Oh, sigh.

And yet I wouldn’t change a thing about Jane or her books. She was a woman of her time, as I am of mine, and it’s wonderful that she was born in 1775. Instead of, say, twenty years ago.

Because if she were twenty-something, Jane might be, well, like a hipster. I know, right? A shudder-worthy thought.

Oh, her novels would be as sparkling and insightful as ever–for wittiness is prized by hipsters–but they could also have a very different look. I have taken the liberty of finding images that are less “mainstream” for Jane’s beloved but hopelessly “longhair” (square) characters. No longer are they “fin” (uncool) or “midtown” (unhip), but “straight from the fridge” (cool) and “deck” (cutting edge).

What do you think? Photos will enlarge if you click on them.

The so-deck Mr Darcy

Mr Darcy, the definition of “deck”

Elizabeth Bennet?

Elizabeth Bennet, always lovely. Will she give Darcy “the frigidaire”? (cold shoulder)

Ugly, uncool Collins--a frado who is fin

Mr Collins, both a “sinhound” (priest) and “frado” (ugly)

Wickham, the juicer (ladies man)

Bad Wickham, the “juicer” (ladies’ man)

Lydia Bennet

Lydia Bennet, in pink combat boots, seeking a “cronkite” (boy) with whom to “bust a moby” (dance)

And of course, Lady Catherine.

Eco-minded Lady Catherine rocks public transit


7 thoughts on “If Jane were twenty-something…

  1. Susan Kaye

    I call bollocks on the idea that “Lady C” is Eco-chico. There’s more than a barrel of oil wasted in all that polyester she’s wearing. And, the Mr. Collins is the worship leader at my church, I’m sure of it. (“Does that shirt come in men’s?”)


  2. Robin Helm

    The only one who doesn’t make me shudder to the point of teeth rattling is Elizabeth. When I think of modern Darcy, I lean more toward handsome and fashionable but non-trendy. He’s more classic, yet he’s current.

    <img src="http:// photo Chris-Evans_zpsacbdfbbd.jpg” alt=”” />

    Chris Evans fits the bill nicely.


    1. Laura Hile Post author

      Oh, yes. Very nice choice, Robin. “Dyed-in-the-wool non-hipster.

      As for Elizabeth, a lovely young woman is beautiful no matter what she wears. That sweater and hairstyle on any of us would be laughable.


  3. Pingback: Fitzwilliam Darcy y Elizabeth Bennet han vuelto a la televisión con la novela de P.D. James: ‘Death Comes to Pemberley’ | cinetelevisionblog

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