I Had to Laugh … They Manipulated Their Balls

(Yes, the juvenile, Monty Python-esque double entendre is deliberate.) In a world obsessed with minutiae, we now have Deflationgate. Google the term and you will undoubtedly find scores of stories on how the New England Patriots football team allegedly deflated the balls used in their last game. It was  a play off game and so more important than average.

Evidently, deflating the football makes them easier to handle during regulation play. Many in the media are outraged. Many are showing up in opinion columns to state their outrage and to pound their pulpits that cheating is BADBADBAD, uber, super bad. Especially when a team is on the way to the Super Bowl.

A few years ago it was very in to spout about a website called Ashley Madison dot com. It’s a site on which married people can look for other marrieds wishing to have affairs. I wonder how many of these sporting neopuritans  tied themselves in knots to argue that a little sump’in’ sump’in’ on the side is actually GOOD for a marriage, and that cheating in that arena is understandable and maybe beneficial. I saw plenty of them on various talk shows trying to convince me. They never really did.

As for Deflationgate, if it’s against the rules, it’s wrong and whoever pulled this off should be punished. But, maybe deflating the ball will bring a new element to the game. Maybe it will be a wake-up call to the other team that they have to try harder. Maybe this is just the same old hypocrisy we as humans have practiced for centuries.

2 thoughts on “I Had to Laugh … They Manipulated Their Balls

  1. Gayle Mills

    I don’t think we’re supposed to use the word “cheating.” It’s a non-disclosed advantage. A not-quite-accepted interpretation of the rules. An intentional bending of an disrespected variance.

    I am appalled at the number of players who have admitted that “almost all quarterbacks manipulate the air pressure of their footballs.” Come on, people! It’s football because it’s played with a FOOTBALL. If the balls don’t have to be the same, then could you just substitute another ball altogether? I mean, baseball fanatics go nuts when a pitcher adds spit to a ball before he pitches it. There are regulations concerning the making and maintenance of the balls in every sport. Teams with integrity or players with integrity follow the rules of the game.

    I think the patriots should have to pay the maximum penalty for EACH ball they deflated. Yep, multiply that fine by 11 or 12. And multiply the loss of draft picks by the same amount. Make it hurt — big time. And I think the person or persons responsible should be suspended for 11 or 12 games.

    If this isn’t addressed adequately, then why have rules at all? Hey, it’s a first down if you almost make the required 10-yard gain. It’s a touchdown if you get within 5 inches of the goal line. You can get a field goal if you’re no more than 1 foot outside the goal posts. If the clock’s running down, just ignore the whistle and keep playing. You’re entitled to a few extra seconds. And if you have 12 men on the field, well, that’s OK. We all know that you meant for one of them to run off of the field.

    But one thing the patriots will never compromise on — MONEY. They will get every dime owed to them for an opportunity to make more money than they ever dreamed possible. And the only suckers are all those people still buying tickets to watch them cheat.

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Why yes, we DO want a piece of your mind. ;-)

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