I think I’ve gone distracted.

I have a confession to make, and if you didn’t think I was strange before, you surely will after you read what I have to say.

I often “see” my life as an observer, as if I were watching a movie or reading a book. I write the scenes in my head as they unfold. If I’m riding in a car, I watch the scenery flash by and hear the music which always plays in the background.

Lately, I’ve mused on the idea expressed by Mrs. Bennet: “Three daughters married! Ten thousand a year! Oh, Lord! What will become of me. I shall go distracted.” I see myself in that statement.

Mandy baby bump

I have only two daughters, and they are now both married. I also have a granddaughter and another on the way, due to arrive December 12.

My younger daughter married in June and will move to California on Sunday to join her husband. She’s already shipped her car and packed her bags. We’ve handled sending everything ahead that we could, and she has gift cards to replace the rest. There have been many bumps in the road this past summer, but I think everything is finally handled, once we go to the Post Office tomorrow and mail a few packages to her new address.

DSC_5397

My daughters were born nearly ten years apart, so we’ve had children (young or grown) in our home for the past thirty-four years. There has always been laughter and noise. This will be a huge adjustment.

When we leave her at the airport Sunday morning around 5:30, I truly shall go distracted. Unlike Mrs. Bennet, I will not be at all glad to see her leave, though I am happy for her and her husband. He’s an excellent man, and they are wonderfully matched. However, if he makes only ten thousand a year, they’ll be back home very soon.

I’m sure the background music in my head will be appropriately sad and sweet. 

13 thoughts on “I think I’ve gone distracted.

  1. Laura Hile

    My sons were so excited to go off to college. It’s not the same as the married/job transfer good-bye, but in some ways it is. We hide our sorrow and share their excitement, what else can we do? My mom cried after my husband and I left our wedding reception (held at my parents’ house, my childhood home). Apparently she turned and ran sobbing into the house. I can remember being so surprised when I heard that. Why would she cry?

    Now I know. You have been a blessing to your daughter, Robin, and the story isn’t over. Besides, haven’t you always wanted to dip your toes in the Pacific Ocean? She’ll be only ten hours from here, and I do “know the way to way to San Jose.”

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    1. Robin Helm Post author

      Mel did go off to college for four years, but she was home a couple of times a semester and for every break. It’s not the same knowing that she’s in the same time zone and 2 1/2 hours away as opposed to a different time zone and a 6 or 7 hour plane ride away.

      I actually have been to California once, and I waded in the Pacific. Mandy was stationed in San Diego for several years. It’s a beautiful area.

      However, I may have to make another trip there.

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  2. Jennifer Redlarczyk

    I’m with Laura, you WILL have to visit. For sometime my parents lived in California and loved it. (weather wise) All the kids lived in the midwest and after years of asking away, they finally gave up year round golf and sun to be with the grandkids. What we don’t do for our children!

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    1. Robin Helm Post author

      We do almost anything for our children, wouldn’t we? That’s just how it goes. They leave us, and we want them to want to come back.

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  3. tgruy

    I will just start now, my kids went to college here, in the city where I live and only one of them doesn’t live home anymore, but comes often. Now he’s getting married but will still be living in the same city. So I really can’t relate but I can imagine. At least they’ll live in great places to go visit!

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  4. Robin Helm Post author

    I don’t know that I’ll take another trip to Japan. It was wonderful, but it’s very expensive and tiring. It took me two weeks to get over the trip!

    California is doable, but not until next summer. I’m working until then.

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  5. Susan Kaye

    I guess I am the only one praying that my kids find homes of their own. No, I’m not cold-hearted … well, I am, but I never feared the empty-nest and would LOVE to give it a try.

    Liked by 3 people

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    1. Robin Helm Post author

      I completely understand. Remember my eldest has been gone for 8 years, and I knew that it was time for her to go. I love for her to visit, but I would never think it was a good idea for her to move back in permanently. She wouldn’t either. If she’s reading this, she’s agreeing vehemently.

      I just wish she lived in the continental United States so that I could see her more than once every two years.

      Liked by 1 person

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    2. Laura Hile

      My eldest sons live have bedrooms here–one is working full-time and building a second business, and the other begins grad school on Monday. Under normal conditions I seldom see them. It’s like the kitchen and living room have an afternoon shift and a late-night shift. We head to bed at 8:30 p.m. (often before they get home), and we are up and out at 6:30 a.m., long before they are.

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        1. Laura Hile

          I marvel that as adult roommates we get along. When I was newly home from the hospital and so very weak, it was a godsend to have three adults with different schedules so that someone could be here.🙂

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  6. J "Joy" Dawn King

    This made my heartbeat speed up as my stomach dropped to my knees. When our only daughter begged to move to Ecuador by age 18 we told her she was free to move as soon as she completed college. We didn’t realize she would conspire with her high school teachers and start at 14. By the time she was 17 she had graduated high school and finished her career training. Then she left! We put up with going back and forth for two years. Then we quit our jobs, sold our home, and moved to South America. We had to return to care for parents and when that was done we moved again. This time because of grandchildren. Trust me – if we didn’t have my Mom to care for now, we would be back in Ecuador in a flash. That’s the power of daughters and grandchildren.

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  7. Robin Helm Post author

    Until we retire, we’ll be here in South Carolina. It’s highly unlikely that either daughter’s husband will be in their present jobs for more than ten years. My elder daughter’s husband is career military, and he already has twelve years in. They’ll move stateside in a year-and-a-half or two. My younger daughter’s husband’s job is one that could end at any time.

    You’re absolutely right that our children and grandchildren have great power over us. I hope to visit California next summer or earlier.

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Why yes, we DO want a piece of your mind. ;-)

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