Pride and Precedence: Combat Shopping

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A continuing series by Persuasion’s Mary Musgrove

It’s Black Friday, and for those who live in cities, it is a day of never-ending shopping. My husband calls this Retail Therapy. (Can I help it if purchases cheer me up?)  Bless me, I’ve told him countless times that we would be happier and save money by traveling to the Metropolis for Black Friday. As usual he will not listen.

The men who are the most stubborn are those who are easygoing and agreeable. Smiles and sallies conceal a heart of stone!

Even though I am stuck here in Uppercross, I do know a thing or two about Combat Shopping. Serious bargain hunting is not for the faint of heart.

It’s not about Christmas gifts.  This is what everyone says, but I know the truth. Black Friday is all about shopping for yourself!

Definitely hit the designer boutiques, because you must look your best. The rector claims that Christmas is about peace on earth and goodwill toward mankind. It isn’t. Christmas is about parties! And a girl needs more than one new outfit.

  • A ‘more-prosperous-than-you’ gown for the hunt club and philanthropic dinners
  • A swank ‘elegant-casual’ outfit for in-home entertaining
  • The sleek, on-trend New Year’s Eve party dress
  • New shoes and a handbag for each of the above
  • An elegant dressing gown and slippers for Christmas morning with the children

Britai97Bruises and shouting are worth the trouble. Look, markdowns feature clothes that other women have rejected, so why should you buy? Ah, but if customers are fighting over a garment, this shows its value. Elbow in and start grabbing. Use pepper spray only as a last resort.

The battle is real, so dress the part. Since you won’t be seeing anyone you know, swallow your pride and wear yoga pants and a leotard. Why waste time waiting for a fitting room?  Slide on that gown right in the crowded showroom! Boots are a help in holding your ground and for treading on toes. Or for delivering a well-placed kick.

Carria76Hire a driver for the day. Crowds are impossible and so is parking. Why be frazzled and risk having your packages stolen from your car?

Meet friends for mid-morning coffee to display your purchases. Study their reactions. If there is no glint of envy, return the item at once.

It is dangerous to carry cash. Thieves and pickpockets are everywhere! It is therefore prudent to use credit. If you find bargains that you cannot pass up, you won’t be hobbled by regret.

1Men.h51
The tobacconist is your friend, and so is the proprietor of the gun shop.
 Nothing says “I love you” better than a timely purchase of manly gear for your husband. Men will forgive much if there is something for them among the pile of packages. “But I could not pass up this big screen television!” is something your man will certainly understand.

But alas, I cannot partake in your national day of shopping. Such a pity, for there is nothing like new merchandise to put heart into a weary wife.

Most cordially,

Mary Elliot Musgrove
Daughter of Sir Walter Elliot, Bart.
Future Mistress of Uppercross

Have you discovered Mercy’s Embrace?
Romance, adventure, and Jane Austen’s ‘Other Elizabeth’ are waiting …

 

Mary’s “portrait” is Afternoon Stroll by Giovanni Boldini

7 thoughts on “Pride and Precedence: Combat Shopping

      1. Gayle Mills

        It is indeed a head-turning event when one encounters a person who appears to be nude from the waist down — especially when they’re students in the hallway. I often find myself longing for a tri-fold mirror that I could whip out and give them a true image of the way they appear to the rest of the world. Obviously, this wouldn’t be enough to deter the WalMart exhibitionists.

        Liked by 1 person

        Reply

Why yes, we DO want a piece of your mind. ;-)

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