We have a new member of our household, although I have no idea how he came to join us.
His name is I. Dunno, and apparently he is responsible for much of what goes on behind my back.
I mean, really. I cannot be expected to notice what happens in the house every minute of the day!
Ask my eldest son any question:
- Who broke the vase?
- Who let the dogs out of the kennel?
- Who left the toy soldiers on the dining room floor?
The culprit is always I. Dunno. This Mr. Dunno is a very busy person. And he is no gentleman, let me tell you. He is a nuisance and a bother, and the sooner he is gone, the happier I will be.
The servants have begun to speak of him as well, no doubt encouraged by Little Charles’ example. They use an additional surname: I. Dunno Ma’am.
It is most vexing.
My husband is no help. He says that Little Charles has an imaginary friend. And then he laughs, as if this were funny.
Is it any wonder that our youngest has begun to follow suit? He has a entire troop of these imaginary nuisances.
Yes, he does, and I can name them: Howe Come and N. Uh and Was N. Tmee.
Sometimes I think parenting will be the death of me. Already I have lost my figure and my youthful bloom. And now, it seems, I am losing my sanity as well.
If imaginary friends come to call at your house, send them packing straightway!
Mary Elliot Musgrove
Daughter of Sir Walter Elliot, Bart.
Future Mistress of Uppercross
Mary’s “portrait” is Afternoon Stroll by Giovanni Boldini