Don’t stand near me.
I may have shared my theory of weight with you before, but it’s worth resharing. Lately, I’m seeing more and more evidence of its truth.
Robin’s Theory of Weight states that the weight in the world at any given time must remain constant. When a person departs this world, enough babies are born to replace the lost weight. If one person is losing weight, those pounds are looking for a place to go. Someone must gain them. (This idea actually has some scientific merit. Since matter is neither created nor destroyed by ordinary means, that fat has to go somewhere or be converted into something else.)
Now to my point: Don’t stand near anyone who is successfully shedding pounds. The lost weight may glom onto you. (Yes, “glom” is a word, and the expression “glom onto” is well-known in the South.)
May 30th, I took several embarrassingly revealing pictures of myself, and I started a nutritional program.
To date, I’ve lost 36 pounds. I’d like to lose 30 more, but then, I’d like to write a best-seller, too.
I look and feel much better. Being healthy may have to be enough.
The title of this post is a reference to John 3:30. My Theory of Weight is a joke. The verse is not.